The High Road
- 5 mins 
There exists in the universe, the optimal string representing each particular gap in understanding. Arranged in such a way, these words emanate the mysteries of existence like solar flares departing from the sun. These bands of inquisition streak across the atmosphere of thought leaving an aurora borealis of inspiration on the mind. Captivated, an answer emerges. “What planet is this guy living on?” Such a question might be at the thought-train crossing right now. I understand, we live in a day and age where everyone is looking for a handout, while attention spans are in increasingly short supply. I implore you, do not conform! The human mind is the most complex clump of carbon in the known universe, we must utilize it to the fullest potential. Anyway, in the following paragraphs I will give an example to help you, the reader, lose what faith in humanity you might possess. Then, just when the hero seems devoid of purpose, a brilliantly formulated question will make everything right as rain.
The bad
The following question hits close to home because I, in the throws of my naivety, have postulated the same query. Although, I have never had the courage to paint a giant target on myself by disseminating my ignorance to a public forum like Stack Overflow. So, ladies and gentleman, here it is…
“What is the difference between JavaScript and Java?”
Let us dissect this question into its mortally sinning constituents. First off, that was the question in its entirety… Does the asker of this question appear as if they had put forth any prior effort to overcome this insolvable conundrum on their own? Did the thought that, perhaps, somewhere out there was a description of Java and a description of JavaScript? Did they think to google it? How about check a wikipedia? The answer to all of these questions is, in fact, painfully obvious. The best solution for this poor soul was apparently heading on over to a technical forum and asking, “what is the difference…?” To quote the top voted answer, with 575 votes, “Java and Javascript are similar like Car and Carpet are similar.” Did that answer the question for our dear friend? Yes, why yes it did. Was it the answer they were looking for? Probably not, but maybe a valuable lesson was learned. A thoughtless question with no structure, no details, and no specificities of any kind, only results in a virtual dunce cap being placed squarely upon the inquisitors head.
I, like all of us
have been in the exact same position as our friend here. For me, my face turns red, I start sweating and my hands turn clammy as my autonomic nervous system goes into overdrive. A result from making a fool of myself. Granted, there were a few kind-hearted responses. One graciously giving a brief overview of the key differences, another linking to a wikipedia article. While this exemplifies the good-natured community being cultivated, it does not take away from the age old saying, “better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
The good
Having visited a dark, desolate corner of the internet, let us venture into a much more illuminated and inspirational place. A place where insight and opportunities for growth abound. Without further ado, in the spirit of originality, here is the current top voted question on Stack Overflow…
“Why is it faster to process a sorted array than an unsorted array?”
The title is clear and concise, easily identifiable and just vague enough to draw someone into reading the fine details. Speaking of the details, this user gift wrapped the question with what was specifically meant by the title, examples of code that were run, and benchmarks they had recorded as a result of testing. The user went so far as to test the experiment between Java and C++ to see if the results differed. Finally, a conclusion was drawn with what initially was thought to be the cause, as well as why this conclusion was found to be incorrect. All of this coming full circle, right back to the main question, just like a good mystery novel. The answer, it turns out, is caused by branch prediction. The enthusiasm of the answer’s author is abundantly apparent from how they respond. The detailed explanation comes complete with pictures, metaphors, real-world examples and benchmarks of their own. Thus illustrating just how excited a nerd can get from a good question.
To begin again
I now completely understand the need behind Raymond writing this article, and how the open source community needs a set of guidelines like his to keep it from careening into the abyss. I also thoroughly enjoyed reading through the paper and learning a great deal from Raymond’s insight, but I do believe Raymond speaks from an archaic kind of, “nerd elitism.” I get it, hackers are too busy to deal with the “losers.” Hackers like dealing with other hackers, this is all well known. An important aspect to remember is that at some point in time, we all fall under the classification of “loser.” Even Raymond himself, albeit most likely when he was very young, must have fallen victim to his own criticisms. Learning to ask a question the right way is just like any learning process: high failure rates gradually decline and interchange with higher rates of success through practice and experience. However, with such a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips, there is no excuse for ignorance. So, I suppose the moral of the story is this: First think, then, think some more. Perhaps go for a walk, think a little bit more, then maybe, and only maybe, ask a question on the internet.
Wyatt Hoodes
Pressured != crushed; Perplexed != despair